What Tickles My Fancy

genitalia joke not included

3 notes

gunmetalskies:

The lack of a carriage return in the ask box is the biggest problem I have with tumblr. I guess that’s not that bad… But still… *grumbles disdainfully toward staff*

I know right?! Fuckin’ sucks, just let me style my ask text how I want to!

Thing is, I tried editing the compiled HTML - no luck, the tag used for your ask text is a new-fangled <textarea>, and so it handles text internally. Changing the tag or the actual content body does nothing, because apparently the page is running a nasty script that catches all change events and responds by making things back the way they were (removing carriage returns and whatnot, even resetting the view of the remaining characters counter to invisible, never mind that i would greatly appreciate to always know my limits and phrase myself appropriately, not just when i have 1.7 characters left)

While it’s good to know no server calls are being made, (i.e. one could theoretically get this to work by just altering the javascript that particular time they really need to), there is a reason they do this - a different script reveals they need the structure to split your text by semicolon delimiters and then whore those chunks out to Google Analytics, giving you more accurate penis-pump ads than never before! Wouldn’t want to mess with that, now would we?

This might be quite a bit off-kilter and all, I don’t really work with web technologies, but after looking at that code for a minute, well, here ya go. Now we know, I guess. Yay for ads on penis-pumps that truly scream YOU, I guess

931 notes

It’s patently bullshit. I think anyone who’s gone to school has heard this from teachers, maybe they’ve even heard it from their parents: “You just gotta be yourself.” But it’s very clear that they don’t really want you to be yourself because every time you express a viewpoint that doesn’t conform to their rigid standards of how a human being should conduct themselves, all the sudden it’s “What are you doing? You need to join the herd. You need to be part of the collective.” And you’re like, “Well, what about being myself?” “Yeah, you need to be yourself within the confines of the collective. What we meant when we said be yourself is that you’re the borg drone that’s fixing the power relays and uh that borg drone, by contrast, is working on the navigations array. So, you see how there’s a slight difference there. But yeah, you all have to be part of the collective. Individuality—that’s not allowed. We didn’t mean be yourself as in ‘be a unique person with your own thoughts, feelings, and opinions.’ We meant be yourself in the sense of ‘be somewhat distinctive, but in a way that we can utilize you.”
The Amazing Atheist (via invisibella)

(via amazingatheist)

107,430 notes

devilwithablackdresson:

i fucking hate tumblr so much seriously

you guys are always like “i want equality!” except gay people are better than straight people and women are better than men and poc are better than white people and trans people are better than cis people

if you claim you want equality, but put someone down because they’re privileged, that doesn’t make you an advocate for equality, it makes you an asshole

(Source: socks-gone-wild, via saturninefilms)

291 notes

Anonymous asked: The thing about women is that they never really take the initiative and innovate. Sure, they can be trained into being smart and doing complex tasks, but they never really "invent", you know? The same qualities that make women a good investment for microloans makes them lousy originators. Innate instability, superfluousness, incompleteness, and hunger drive males to greatness and ruin.

amazingatheist:

TOP TEN THINGS THAT WOMEN INVENTED

I could provide you with several more articles like this, but I know that facts aren’t going to dissuade you from what is ultimately an emotional opinion. You want to believe what you’re saying because it gives you some comfort that women are no threat to you and your big manly brain. 

Well, I’m telling you, as a fellow man, that your brains are shit and the only thing you’ve ever invented is 16 new ways to be a tool. 

71,671 notes

amazingatheist:

allthingsmorbid:

slowfedex:

So I came home from school a few days ago and found this on one of the cabinets in my house. 
See about three years ago my parents decided to go on a big push to get healthy. At the time we were all really overweight, it was a good idea. Our motto became “Eat less. Exercise more.” This was reasonable, because we often had thirds in every meal, and I couldn’t run to my mail box without getting out of breath.Since that time between the four members of my family we’ve lost a hundred and sixty pounds. I am muscled, curvy, and a weight I love. I exercise four days a week, usually boxing early in the morning before school. Usually in the course of a day I’ll eat two pieces of toast, a sandwich and a fruit, and a small piece of meet with a couple vegetables. 
My parents are not impressed. At one time, they always repeated to me “healthy at any weight”, but now it has turned not to being healthy to be healthy, but lose weight lose weight lose weight. 
My eleven year old sister and I have started working with each other to sneak food into our rooms that they won’t notice we’ve taken.
The other day, I didn’t wake up at five before school to work out, and my dad yelled at me, making me promise to work out an extra day that week. 
My dad picks apart my lunch in the morning. Recently, they started giving me only half a sandwich. 
A few days ago, my sister went to get a cheese stick after school, and my mother told her that if she ate it, it would be her entire dinner. My sister ate it, and didn’t get dinner. 
My parents told me I need to get a personal trainer so I can “improve faster”. 
My family has a history of eating disorders, and everyday my family seems more and more anorexic. I’m scared for both myself and my younger sister. Both of us try to not eat, because we get approval from our parents for being “more healthy”. I’ve stopped eating lunch, trying to loose weight so that they will be nicer to me. 
I don’t think my parents realize that they’re fostering eating disorders, but the other day I tried to make myself puke, because they treat food like poison. 
I was wondering if you could reblog this if you think this sounds unhealthy, because I keep trying to talk myself out of thinking that it is. 

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY!
THIS IS THE ROAD TO DEATH!
FOOD IS NOT POISON!
IT IS NOURISHMENT!

Woah.

amazingatheist:

allthingsmorbid:

slowfedex:

So I came home from school a few days ago and found this on one of the cabinets in my house. 

See about three years ago my parents decided to go on a big push to get healthy. At the time we were all really overweight, it was a good idea. Our motto became “Eat less. Exercise more.” This was reasonable, because we often had thirds in every meal, and I couldn’t run to my mail box without getting out of breath.

Since that time between the four members of my family we’ve lost a hundred and sixty pounds. I am muscled, curvy, and a weight I love. I exercise four days a week, usually boxing early in the morning before school. Usually in the course of a day I’ll eat two pieces of toast, a sandwich and a fruit, and a small piece of meet with a couple vegetables. 

My parents are not impressed. At one time, they always repeated to me “healthy at any weight”, but now it has turned not to being healthy to be healthy, but lose weight lose weight lose weight. 

My eleven year old sister and I have started working with each other to sneak food into our rooms that they won’t notice we’ve taken.

The other day, I didn’t wake up at five before school to work out, and my dad yelled at me, making me promise to work out an extra day that week. 

My dad picks apart my lunch in the morning. Recently, they started giving me only half a sandwich. 

A few days ago, my sister went to get a cheese stick after school, and my mother told her that if she ate it, it would be her entire dinner. My sister ate it, and didn’t get dinner. 

My parents told me I need to get a personal trainer so I can “improve faster”. 

My family has a history of eating disorders, and everyday my family seems more and more anorexic. I’m scared for both myself and my younger sister. Both of us try to not eat, because we get approval from our parents for being “more healthy”. 

I’ve stopped eating lunch, trying to loose weight so that they will be nicer to me. 

I don’t think my parents realize that they’re fostering eating disorders, but the other day I tried to make myself puke, because they treat food like poison. 

I was wondering if you could reblog this if you think this sounds unhealthy, because I keep trying to talk myself out of thinking that it is. 

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY!

THIS IS THE ROAD TO DEATH!

FOOD IS NOT POISON!

IT IS NOURISHMENT!

Woah.

125 notes

Anonymous asked: What makes you believe you can converse, or talk to a woman the same way you would with a man? And also don't you think when you communicate with a woman you have to show them more respect, than what you would with a man?

amazingatheist:

No. That’s absurd to me.

119,528 notes

gunmetalskies:

izzymar:

this-is-chris-colfers-world:

hey-bad-batter-hey:

imjustkt:

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

My mom is a travel agent and I can confirm that people are legitimately this stupid when it comes to travel.

"It took us 9 hours to get home to England but the Americans only took 3  hours this is unfair" OH YES LET ME JUST REARRANGE THE GEOGRAPHY OF THE FUCKING PLANET FOR YOU SIR TERRIBLY SORRY

Whenever I think “oh this is the funniest one” I read the next one and I just can’t

My brain just exploded. Goodnight. Goodbye. It was nice knowing you.

I can’t… Whu? 

115,146 notes

amazingatheist:

morbidorable:

amazingatheist:

Then someone said the word Spaghetti, not realizing that someone at the party was once raped by Spaghetti. Insensitive fucking pricks. Don’t they realize the mere utterance of certain words is enough to destroy a person’s psyche utterly and totally? 

oh christ.

you know what?

i’ve been raped.
i’ve been declared a “retard” by schools and peers.
i am a fucking shemale.
and you know what else?

NONE OF THESE WORDS FUCKING HURT ME.

fuck you, op. fuck you for perpetuating this idea that we’re so fucking weak that words hurt us. fuck you for promoting weakness among those of us who haven’t yet learned to deal with mere words. most of all, though, fuck you for deluding yourself into thinking you’re doing anything good for anyone but yourself.

*applause* 

(Source: superqueerartsyblog)

110 notes

Anonymous asked: So you basically said that it's okay for underage girls to expose their bodies on the internet. What the fuck is wrong with you? I agree that her punishment was severe and that she doesn't deserve to be charged as a sex offender, but it is not appropriate for underage girls to post pictures of themselves naked.

amazingatheist:

I don’t care what you think is appropriate. My remarks were part of an ideological framework whose lynchpin is the notion of self-ownership. Your objection is based, as far as I can tell, on little more than your own indignation, which almost certainly has its foundations in the puritanical idea that the body is somehow a dirty or shameful thing.